"Earthy Women – Women in Rural Life" by Susan Nelson

There are many theories and ideas about why women are the way we are whatever that may be. The stereotypes of course are easy to reel off, and the exceptions to the rule are often promoted as proof of one opinion or another. My desire in writing about women in rural life is not to point out any particular role women play – past, present or future -- but to share a few observations and ask a few questions.

Nature and nurture blend together in a weave and warp and what jumps off the loom in the end is an intricate combination of the two. We carry material in our genes that is not only about hair colour or cleft chins, but also the way we respond emotionally to stress or the way we perceive joy. The biochemical balance of our internal environment exerts an indisputable but often paradoxically unacknowledged power on our beliefs and actions. Hormones rule. And of course we are buffeted and becalmed by the world around us – not just by the household we live within, but by the ever present norms of the culture in which we are born. Frequently it seems in our modern ‘we can control the universe and use all the earth’s resources without serious consequence’, economic profit dominated culture, we forget that we are to a fair degree a product of historical and physical influences beyond our ability to perceive, much less control.

When I look over my shoulder there appears an almost infinite circling line of women as far as the proverbial eye can see. Beginning with my mother and then her mother, it coils outward as it goes, great grandmothers and on and on. Their presence in the big picture and the daily details of my life is tangible even though of the millions of women in the line I have known only two. The weight and the flow of their experience lives in me along with whatever unique expression I may bring to my time. I specify my female ancestors not because the males had no influence or impact and not because I deify women. I do so because I believe that of all the education that happens as the older generation passes on information to the younger about how to live, the most powerfully enforced and practised has to do with gender roles. The lessons don’t usually come from textbooks or take place in formal classes but unfold from daily witness of men and women who have been taught in their turn about what it means to be a man or a woman. The content may vary from culture to culture and from individual to individual, but the emphasis on the importance of difference remains. It is akin to a reflex for example to ask when there is a birth – is it a boy or girl? And then there’s the pink or blue baby clothes or a little ribbon on a new born girl’s bald head to let people know what to say or perhaps more importantly how to feel about the new human.

So I wonder about the impact of that education on us all and in particular in this case of women living in the country. Some say that just because of the fact that the female of the species has the capacity to carry and birth the young, whether or not we actually do it, means that we have a special relationship with life. Recently, we assisted when our cow Nell gave birth. The other day after I bottle fed our beautiful two week old calf, Canela, I went out into the pasture with her and watched her romp around with her brand new spring-loaded legs. I wondered if the feelings I had – that teary kind of joy and awe for the miracle and exuberance of the newly arrived – had to do with the fact that I am a woman.

While I don’t subscribe to either the ‘women are...’ or ‘men are…’ statements that try to define and categorize us, I do believe there are differences that arise from our socialization as humans and our biological realities. At the same time, it is hard not to get locked into stereotypes about the nurturer caregiver big mother good wife role. The country women of my grandmother’s generation born at the very beginning of the 20th century and to some extent my mother’s too, were expected to take care of the house and have children and do whatever had to be done to keep life going as smoothly as possible. In roughly the first half of the century that could and often did include growing fruit and vegetables, milking the cow, feeding and slaughtering livestock, butchering, keeping the fire fed as well as the family (whoever that may include), being a nurse and/or doctor, teacher, mental health counsellor, tailor, spiritual guide, social activity coordinator and housekeeper. I’m sure I’ve left out some important work but these are simply examples. Easy to understand why the expression a woman’s work is never done rang true.

And now? How have things changed or not for women living in the country? Who are the women who live here now, and why? Lots of stories and less stereotypes, I’m pretty sure. Given the proximity to Victoria for at least part of our area, there are plenty of women who go into the city to work and maintain social networks there. That’s not to say that there are no longer any women who are growing food, making clothes, providing emotional and spiritual support or even milking cows.

One recent study in the U.S. found that most of the people who are taking up farming now are women in their 50s. Most of the farmers at the local meetings we attend are women – young and not so young. There is a grand community of women here who thrive on the joys and challenges of rural life, and they have created something important and alive -- from organizing community festivals and art shows to serving on commisions and community organizations to growing food and creating art and music to simply appreciating and wanting to conserve this beautiful land.

I’d like to think that when women hear that our planet Earth is suffering and that climate change, environmental degradation, war and poverty are going to make life more and more difficult for our children and grandchildren, we listen and make choices from a place of love and concern. I’d like to think that most women who choose to spend lives amidst firs and cedars and deer and cougars are able to attend not only to other people, but to all the life that surrounds us and to be both healers and healed.